The Moment at the Shelter When You Both Just Know

Good at tracking. Must not be too excited. Has a high prey drive. Under 5 years. These notes had been made and were in my pocket because I had not yet brought a dog in the years I had done dog research and listed them all out. I progressed through 6 or 7 until I spotted an older woman, gray around the muzzle. I couldn’t pinpoint the breed, but she was a terrier mix and I guessed she was under 5 years. Hope was something she didn’t seem to have as she looked away from me. She, however, was the only one who remained silent amidst the shelter. The rest were barking their little heads off, as if begging for their chance at freedom.

Once I reached the end, I stopped walking and turned around to the little gray terrier again. I felt like I had an appointment with her. Would an animal shelter accept an adult account? The answer was no, and I had my appointment with her because I bent the rules, and all the other citizens as well, by bringing my dog in and I was ‘keeping’ that appointment.

I was actually able to have that appointment with her for the ‘meeting’ that was spoken about with the volunteer time. She did not sit on me, but didn’t jump around either. Rather, she was just a little too polite and chose to sit right next to my knee without collapsing on me. It’s like she was saying “Look at me! Here I am!”

I have been unable to accurately describe my feelings about that moment several times since, and probably left each one unfulfilled. It didn’t feel like an instantaneous connection like those lightning bolt moments. It didn’t feel like a traveling all the way around the world just to throw a paper airplane and make a small cut in the edge of a distant country’s border. It felt like the opposite of that. Like it’s your birthday and you receive a perfectly wrapped gift that you had no idea you were getting. And when you unwrap it, your birthday wish comes true in a joyous surge in a heavenly electric blue effulgent glow. It felt like running into a friend. Or at least that optimistic goal I had when I envisioned that paper airplane border friction thing.

She leaned her weight against my leg. I put my hand on her back. We were both quiet for a minute. I remember the volunteer talking about the dog’s history, age, temperament, etc. I was only half listening. I was paying attention to something else, something quieter. The way she sighed when I scratched behind her ears. The way she was looking at me, calm and sure. I remember meeting four other dogs that day too. I took notes, asked questions, did the responsible things. But I already knew. Animal rescues have a particular vibe, research and responsible actions are not what get the job done. There is a kind of know that comes from a different place. A place that knows fit before you hear the age, before you see the temperament, before you do any research. A soft, calm feeling when the dog is near. A dog can see temperament too, and it knows when a fit is a fit. I’ve watched my dog meet a hundred people, and she’s sweet to all of them, but there are one or two she leans into the way she leaned into me that first time, and she knows the difference.

While many people say that you choose a shelter dog, I’m not really sure that is entirely correct. I think sometimes the dog chooses you. You end up at the shelter at the same time, on the same row of kennels, and there is an indescribable connection. Call it luck, call it fate, or call it good timing. I call it the moment you and the dog stop pretending that you have other options.

My dog is sleeping under my desk right now with her chin on my foot. I now have an emotional attachment to a dog that I did not originally plan to adopt. I’ve probably had her for a few years now. I have that list somewhere crumpled at the bottom of one of my drawers. I will never find the dog I set out to find.

Instead I found the dog I needed.